It’s a Smile

            It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.

Mark Twain, “Following the Equator,” 1873

 

            Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it.

Henry Ford 

 

            First, God made idiots.  For practice.  Then He made school boards.

Mark Twain

 

            Outside a dog, a book is man’s best friend.  Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

 

            Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

Ambrose Bierce

 

            We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

            A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

Robert Frost

 

            The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

George Bernard Shaw

 

            Conscience is the inner voice which warns us somebody may be looking.

H.L. Mencken

 

            Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Albert Einstein

 

            We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Robert Wilensky, computer science sage

 

            His ignorance is encyclopedic.

Abba Eban

 

            Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

Albert Einstein

 

            I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.

Groucho Marx

 

            If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

Dave Barry

 

            If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.

Dave Barry

 

            There must be more to managing than giving vague directions and punishing people for not reading my mind.

Dilbert’s Pointy-Haired Boss, November 19, 2004

 

            No matter how cynical I get, it’s just never enough to keep up.

Lily Tomlin

 

            In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.  But in practice there is.

Jan L.A. van Snepscheut

 

            Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin

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2 Responses to It’s a Smile

  1. shoreacres says:

    Interesting – I used van Snepscheut’s quotation about theory and practice in my current blog post, attributed to Yogi Berra. It certainly sounds like more like Yogi than an axe-wielding programmer, but now I’ve got another item for my “to be explored” list.

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