It’s a Smile

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.

Mark Twain, “Following the Equator,” 1873

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it.

Henry Ford 

First, God made idiots.  For practice.  Then He made school boards.

Mark Twain

Outside a dog, a book is man’s best friend.  Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

Ambrose Bierce

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

Robert Frost

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

George Bernard Shaw

Conscience is the inner voice which warns us somebody may be looking.

H.L. Mencken

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Albert Einstein

We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Robert Wilensky, computer science sage

His ignorance is encyclopedic.

Abba Eban

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

Albert Einstein

I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.

Groucho Marx

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

Dave Barry

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.

Dave Barry

There must be more to managing than giving vague directions and punishing people for not reading my mind.

Dilbert’s Pointy-Haired Boss, November 19, 2004

            No matter how cynical I get, it’s just never enough to keep up.

Lily Tomlin

            In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.  But in practice there is.

Jan L.A. van Snepscheut

            Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin

            I’m an atheist, and I’m a liberal Democrat, and so I didn’t quite fit in, which is not to say that I’m judging people that have a different viewpoint to me, as long as they’re not jackasses about it, and I try not to be.

Joe Lansdale

When I started my freshman year, I was a walk-on to the track team, I was in the ROTC program, and I had a girlfriend. It was the perfect storm of things that could hurt you, so I had to learn to prioritize.

Bill McRaven, August 24, 2015, in Texas Monthly