It’s a Smile

            It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practise either of them.

Mark Twain, “Following the Equator,” 1873


            Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it.

Henry Ford 


            First, God made idiots.  For practice.  Then He made school boards.

Mark Twain


            Outside a dog, a book is man’s best friend.  Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx


            Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

Ambrose Bierce


            We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


            A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

Robert Frost


            The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

George Bernard Shaw


            Conscience is the inner voice which warns us somebody may be looking.

H.L. Mencken


            Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Albert Einstein


            We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Robert Wilensky, computer science sage


            His ignorance is encyclopedic.

Abba Eban


            Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.

Albert Einstein


            I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.

Groucho Marx


            If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

Dave Barry


            If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.

Dave Barry


            There must be more to managing than giving vague directions and punishing people for not reading my mind.

Dilbert’s Pointy-Haired Boss, November 19, 2004


            No matter how cynical I get, it’s just never enough to keep up.

Lily Tomlin


            In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.  But in practice there is.

Jan L.A. van Snepscheut


            Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin


2 Responses to It’s a Smile

  1. shoreacres says:

    Interesting – I used van Snepscheut’s quotation about theory and practice in my current blog post, attributed to Yogi Berra. It certainly sounds like more like Yogi than an axe-wielding programmer, but now I’ve got another item for my “to be explored” list.

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