Category Funny

Taking back our country…from Americans with whom we disagree: it’s the New American Way

Pat Ryan 2 Comments

We may all look at the same things, but it is the wise man or woman who really sees…in this case sees the hypocrisy so clearly, and explains it with such good humor that I imagine even the hypocrites so exposed must be stifling a chuckle.  Or maybe not.  But I’m going to pass along this news to you nevertheless.

If you’ve paid attention to the news at all you’ve probably heard Republican politicians rallying support to “take back our country.”  (By the way, they’re not talking to American Indians.)  Ever wonder just who (whom?) it is that they believe took our country?  Well, Jon Stewart has divined that those who stand accused, although known by a host of other names, turn out to all be Americans.  Yes, Americans: people from America!  From these United States!  Of America!  Who knew?

And, when some Americans exercise their right of peaceful assembly to protest this “taking” those politicians praise them for their patriotism, while other Americans who do the same thing are castigated for so doing, and in fact castigated by many of the people who had originally whipped up the fervor for the taking…back, of our country.  Oh, heck, click the pic, he explains it funnier than me.

image

Thanks to Comedy Central and The Daily Show.

This is harder on me than it is on you, even though you really wouldn’t think that’d be the case

Pat Ryan Leave a comment

If you’re employed somewhere you’ve probably seen the memo: the stilted and awkward announcement that one of your co-workers is about to become one of your former co-workers, thanks to the right-sizing of the organization.  It’s almost as if bosses get special training in how to transmogrify what should be a simple and direct conveyance of a bit of office news into a hideous and/or hilarious trip to Freaktown.

A couple of years ago Chicago newsman Steve Daley, who died on Sunday at 62, authored the essential takeoff of the genre.  Read the whole thing at the Columbia Journalism Review.

John came to us (four years ago; in 1981; last month) from (the Bugle; the London School of Economics; a think tank in Phoenix). He arrived here with a reputation as (a sociopath; a member of the team of twenty-seven reporters that won a 1991 Polk award for the Bugle series on alternate street parking; a friend of the former executive editor).

John’s contributions to this paper have not gone without notice. He’s a (deft writer; diligent copy editor; pain in the neck), a man who is passionate about (the First Amendment; gerunds; the Bass Ale at Costello’s Taproom) and a newsroom leader who has (become obsessed with Google maps; not generated a single sexual harassment complaint; inspired legions of young reporters to consider teaching American Studies out at the junior college).

(snip)

So it is with (mixed emotions; ill-disguised glee; a disturbing sense that I have now written about seventy-five of these tortured memos) that we bid farewell to our colleague. Moving forward, it is possible the number of voluntary buyout applications may be limited by (pure malice; Sarbanes-Oxley; the guy in the Crocs on 7). Only then will we know if the Involuntary Severance Program (“Opportunity 2009”) will be extended.

Pick the losers, and you’re a winner in the fall TV cancellation contest

Pat Ryan Leave a comment

What a great idea!  That I didn’t think of this first is just part of the explanation for my career arc, but what say we stick with the fun for now.

Over at Grantland, Andy Greenwald has a terrific post that lays out the entrants in a contest to choose which new television series are most likely to be axed.  Fortunately, he’s done most of the hard work–for example, he’s watched “The Playboy Club” so you don’t have to.  Read about the contenders, then go here to check out the scoring rules, the results of the intial draft, and comments from some of the team owners.

Hurry, get your own league started before the first goner is…well, gone.  You will thank me.

Another poignant anniversary related to the most recent poignant anniversary

Pat Ryan Leave a comment

Remembering “Americans sustained by their faith in the wrongness of other people’s faith.” (Click the pic)

image

Thanks, “The Daily Show” and Comedy Central.

The only Hurricane Irene news you really need: Michele Bachmann says God sent it to get the attention of American politicians

Pat Ryan 2 Comments

She really did.  And yes, I know she came back and said she was only kidding—great kidder, this one.  Thing is, no one would have ever thought she was serious except for the fact that she’s running for president as an evangelical conservative who was taught that the U.S. Constitution is based on biblical law, and very little else.

But what if she wasn’t kidding?  Philip Bump thinks just maybe she could be on to something here…

How do we determine which disasters are messages from God, and which ones aren’t his fault, but instead should appeal to Him to fix?

(snip)

Even if we figure out that God is sending a message, how do we know who the message is to?

(snip)

Does the severity of the disaster indicate the degree to which God is angry?  If so, why was God so much madder at Joplin, Missouri, than at the entire East Coast?